Wednesday, December 9, 2009
The Golden Ticket.
If anyone has been in contact with me in person, they have probably heard me mention Lady Gaga at least once (if not more). Most people toss her aside as just another pop-star wannabe, seeking attention.
Nonetheless, I have seen her as much more. I have seen her as a visual artist who is pushing the limits of a culture barred by boundaries. Especially, in these uncertain times, we need people, art, and music to shake us up and wake us to our reality. Instead of a spectacle, I see much of life in her music and performance art.
I have had quite a time getting access to a ticket for her show in San Francisco (even though she made it quite clear on Ellen that she would want anyone of any economic class to see her live). I have had the ticket for barely four days now and I have been trying to sell it. For multiple reasons, the 100 or so dollars I would make from the ticket would relieve (at least temporarily) the stress of life. Yet, I explained to my father the multiple things going on my life, the stress of moving, the competition of the art world, my own personal struggles and beyond. He listened and just simply asked, "what do you need right now Gregory?" I said, really Dad I need a few bucks so I can keep this ticket. I know, I know. A few bucks for a fucking pop concert. There are so many things wrong with it. I get it.
Yet, there are so many things I believe that are right for me. If anything will make me a more well-rounded art critic, supporter and aware person. I think it is in my blood. Something about Lady Gaga (Stefani) has fascinated me since 2007. I listened to her and something in my heart resonated with her. I stopped many times and thought about all the war, poverty, inequality, politics, Obama, democracy, and hatred in the world. All I could think about was that she had a part of my heart. She understood the years of abuse, pain and suffering that I felt when I was growing up as a young confused boy. So few people in my life have had to struggle with the questions of sexuality and longing to feel normal. So few of my "social justice" friends have had to not only fight the "system" but also fight the "system within." I asked questions that few people ever asked at a very young age, some that I feel Lady Gaga actually tries to give an outlet to.
It isn't just about who I wanted to have sex with or a relationship with. It was about who I wanted to be. It was about my dreams and aspirations to help this country and world be a better place. Most people will scoff at this thought. It doesn't matter. Once art touches someone in a certain way, it has already done its job. That is something no one can interrupt. That is between art and the viewer. For me, Lady Gaga interprets something through music, fashion and dance that touches my inner longing to be Gregory. I can't explain it fully. For most, it is silly. For me. it is touching, beautiful and mysterious. Let it be all of them. But, for now, my father has given me a gift that I never thought he would give me. The opportunity to keep that silly piece of paper that will allow me entrance into the place she will sing. The gift to dance like no one is watching. The gift to sing like no one is listening. And the gift to just be me.
And it will be a monster of a time, let me tell you :)